What’s holding me back? Memories and too much thinking of my
“old” life that was filled with memories and people I loved. The people are now
gone or not available, and activities no longer seem interesting. So, I’m
simplifying my living situation. I am going to try and appreciate the new
people and activities in my life although they are not what I initially wanted.
Definitely the one thing holding me back is fear! I have fear of failure, fear
of loss, fear of what I am really truly capable of doing. To be happy and
content, I need to make a decision which will totally change my life. Keeping
the fear alive is only keeping me stuck in a very negative situation.
I have recently realized that I have been holding
on to them. It seemed to have lost myself by making them the center of my life.
Now, I am experiencing loneliness and doubts about where to go from here and
how to do it. I know I need to move on and live MY life. I am taking small
steps. I’m working on making a life for me. I am scared, but also anticipating
a life where I can do whatever I want.
I
realized that, no one else can succeed for me on my behalf. The life I
live is the life I build for myself. There are so many possibilities to
choose from, and so many opportunities for me to bridge the gap between where I
am and where I want to be. Now is the moment to actually step forward.
I am working on
giving up on a person that I cherish a lot… seems so tough to let go because we
have been such good friends and close in relationship. (We are not even talking
about EM!….sigh)… I really don’t know what made me to change my mind. I have done but perhaps it is time to let go
and move on. I really cry and it’s heartbreaking that, such a great
relationships have to come to an end. Guess I need to remember constantly. Giving up doesn’t always mean I am weak or wrong in any way. Sometimes it simply means I am strong enough and smart enough to let go and move forward with my life.
When I am letting go of the past, I
forgive what needs forgiving, and I am moving forward, I cannot change the
past, but I know I can change the future…
Please forgive me I forgave you
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