Five Years Later: Surviving, Loving, Flowing^^

Dear blog,

It has been such a long, long time since I last came here. The last post I published was back in 2020, and now, as we approach the end of 2025, here I am again. And thanks for being with me.

So much has happened in my life in the past five years. The only achievement I feel I’ve made in these past five years is that I am surviving, and I am moving with the flow of life, sometimes with ease, sometimes with struggle, but always with love.

Since I got married to my husband, I thought that I was sharing my dukh and sukh(my sorrows and joys),  with him.  That's the reason why I ignored this small space. But today, my heart ached in a way I wasn’t prepared for. My cousin sister had been staying with us for almost a month, and during that time, my little girl became so deeply attached to her. Yesterday, when she left, my baby cried her heart out. Watching her cry broke me from within.

As I held my baby, I couldn’t help but think, what if I had a sister of my own? Growing up, I was the only girl in my family. I was given the privilege, shored with love, and I also carried the responsibilities of a daughter from a very young age. I envy the photos of beautiful sisters together because I never knew the bond of sisters. Today, I find myself wondering: if I had one, would she be here by my side? Would she love my baby the way my cousin did? Would my daughter have that special aunty sister bond every day?

My heart aches because I don’t have the answer. But I do know this, sometimes life gives us chosen sisters, not by birth but by bond. My cousin reminded me of that.

And my baby, who is just 10 days away from her 5th birthday. As you always say, "You are my best mommy in the world", so you are darling. You are strong and fierce, shy yet confident, and you have a heart that feels deeply, and that's the greatest gift you own. At this juncture, you love drawing, whereby your behaviour aligns with your daddy, who is slow but has perfection at the end. However, you hate eating (something that worries me every single day).

You are growing so fast, and though moments like today bring pain, they also remind me how much love your little heart can hold.

In her small world, Kuromi is the biggest joy.

This blog is mommy's diary, so that someday, when you read it, you’ll know how much you mean to me, how much I notice about you, and how deeply I love you.

Xoxo,

Mama <3